Emotionally whole

Have you ever thought about the term ’emotionally whole’. Whenever I hear this term it reminds me of the absent, but implicit. If I am not emotionally whole, it implies that I must be broken or only partly developed. What does it look like and who decides if someone is emotionally whole or broken? It just does not sit very well with me!

Somehow this term always reminds me of a broken vase. I struggle with this metaphor and find it even somewhat disrespectful to refer to any person in these terms. What is emotional wholeness and how do we achieve this? Often people use this term as a generic statement, but are we as people ever whole or un-whole? If one understands the metaphor of wholeness in terms of the absence of brokenness, it implies that an un-whole person’s emotions needs to be fixed. Does the hurt, disappointment and struggles brake us, or does it change our ‘reality’ and cause new ways of being, even if these might be negative?